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30 Days

March 1, 2010
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So long February, Hello March.

In 30 days it’ll be my birthday.

My 30th birthday, to be precise.

Deep breath.

So, for some reason I usually combine the birthday blues with the new year blues, and get it all over and done with by early January, so that by April, everything’s fine and dandy. But this year it has lingered and dwelled, settled in for the long-haul like an unwelcome guest nesting on my couch, surrounded by used tissues and chocolate bar wrappers, asking if I’m planning on putting the kettle on anytime soon …

… Until a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know what happened, but I just started feeling really ok with it all. Yes, there are things – lots of things! – I wish I had figured out or achieved by now, but that’s just stuff to look forward to, right? And in the meantime, not having those things means I am free to both work towards them and explore other possibilities, like the huge kick-arse holiday I’m planning on having later this year, maybe even an extended trip working overseas, maybe even a spot of study.

A lot of good stuff happened in my twenties, things to be cherished. I went to uni – even though when I finished high school I thought I never would – and found out that what I really am is a writer, and not only do I love to study, but I’m really good at it too. I discovered artists, writers and musicians that have impacted my life, made me better understand who I am, how I see the world and what place I’d like to have in it. And I’ve made new and beautiful friends, some of whom I think I’ll still be friends with when we’re all purple-haired pensioners, catching up for shandies and a highly competitive evening of bingo.

But yeah, a good portion of my twenties sucked too, big time. There was heartbreak, my beautiful darling mum died after years of illness and I had a massive long-term breakdown, which stopped my ability to function properly for a long time, and which I was only just starting to come out of when I began this blog back in April 2008. One of the reasons I started this blog was that I needed a project that would help me look out for and focus on the beauty in life. I’m really glad I did. My heart will always ache in a particular way, distinct only to me, but there are other things too, things to take comfort and inspiration from. Things that give me hope.

I’m ready to leave my twenties behind. Good times lie ahead.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 7, 2010 8:11 pm

    eeeeeeek! I think it’s exciting! And you speak with such confidence that if you didn’t feel confident well, you faked it and made it… 30 year old women are the most beautiful and at the peak of their sex lives… so they say 🙂

    xx

    • maybenextweek permalink*
      March 9, 2010 5:06 pm

      Thanks Thea 🙂 That’s what people keep telling me! (After they’ve made the facial expression that goes with eeeeek!) Now all I need is a lovely boyfriend with whom to test the theory… sigh.

  2. March 9, 2010 9:55 pm

    Hi there,
    We’ve just celebrated our son’s 30th birthday, I think he’s feeling similar to yourself, reflecting over the last 10 years…& when he asks me “do you think I’m getting old Mum?” I give him the same answer my Dad gave me at that age…”don’t worry about getting old, worry about not getting old” good phylosophy right? Happy Birthday!

    • maybenextweek permalink*
      March 11, 2010 12:23 pm

      Thanks Lesley, that is good advice indeed, and it’s always good to know I’m not alone in this particular boat! 🙂

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